


The Punnery

by this_is_my_alt



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: All Skeletons Are Now Ladies, Amnesia, But that isn't the focus, Ecto-Breasts (Undertale), Ecto-Tongue (Undertale), Ecto-Vagina (Undertale), F/F, Fontcest, I Will Not Apologize For Art, Lamia, Magical Girl Maids, Most skellies are switches, Not medically accurate whatsoever, Oops, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Reader is literally just vibing, Sanscest - Freeform, Sapphire is subbier than subway, Smut sooner rather than later, The focus is how thirsty they are for Reader ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), Vanilla is seriously stacked, all lesbians, and my dumb jokes, it's my fic and i get to choose the stupid nicknames, many memes, mer-skeletons, reader is female
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:14:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29391078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/this_is_my_alt/pseuds/this_is_my_alt
Summary: You are…well…you’re not sure who you are. You must’ve hit your head pretty hard. It’s a good thing these nuns are here to nurse you back to health. Most of them are total sweethearts— cooking and cleaning for you, wearing cute little maid outfits, serving you with a smile. The others wouldn’t be caught dead with a feather duster in their hands and become your tutors. They love to tease and are very unsubtle about wanting to sleep with you. You may not remember much, but aren’t nuns supposed to be celibate? And uh, not skeletons?These sisters have a secret. As the moon waxes full so does their feral horniness and nowhere is safe.(A silly, smutty story set in a world wherein all characters are female, all skeletons are also magical girls, and ‘that time of the month’ means transforming into whatever kind of skele-monster the author most recently has the hots for)
Relationships: Papyrus (Undertale)/Reader, Papyrus/Sans (Undertale), Sans (Undertale)/Reader, Sans/Sans (Undertale)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 31





	The Punnery

“hey, you. you’re finally awake.” The speaker is a skeleton babe. Sans (Undertale) but like _dummy_ thicc. Your head is cradled on her warm, squishy ecto-thighs. There are five other skeletons in a semicircle around you, all with a nun’s habit on their heads. Their clothing falls on diverse points on the edgy/slutty/kawaii spectrum.

One of the cutesy ones, with the skull shape and over-the-top bubbliness of an anime girl, cries with relief, “I’m So Glad!” She claps and jumps in place from the rapture of witnessing you regain consciousness. There’s no bra in the multiverse that could’ve kept her massive titties from bouncing. They’re honestly intimidating. Or maybe you’re intimidated because you have no idea where you are or who anyone is. You ask the standard questions that would be expected of anyone in this situation.

Turns out you’re in a convent in the countryside. These sisters have been taking care of you since they’d found you unconscious a week ago and offer you a place to stay until you figure out where home is. Introductions are made. The blue-eyed and bubbly one goes first, “I’m Sapphire, Or Sapphy, Since We’re Going To Be Such Great Friends!”

Next is another skeleton with wholesome anime energy. She’s tall and boisterous, her bust a modest c-cup and yeah you notice all of their chest sizes because even at a time like this you’re thirsty af. Her voice has the strength to shatter glass as she responds, “I Am The Great Maple!” She aggressively shakes your hand and by grip strength alone you know she’d be good in bed.

A melodramatic scoff from Ms. tall, dark, and edgy. She’s wearing a breastplate that makes her cleavage look kinda pointy, like those iconic fifties bullet brassieres. Its black, like her soul, and cut off at the midriff. You’re not sure why spines are so sexy but god you just want this lady to step on you with those ridiculous red boots of hers. “Your Greatness Wilts In Comparison To The Almighty Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way!”

“just ‘ebony’ if you don’t got all day,” the shorter edgy one advises. “i’m ruby, but you can call me mommy.” Her shark teeth are spread in a smirk. You can tell by the indentations under her top that her nipples are pierced. Her open leering causes you to squirm. A skeletal hand comfortingly smooths over your hair and you glimpse up to face the skeleton who’s acting as your pillow.

This was a bad idea and you’re nearly suffocated by her enormous breasts. Thankfully, her chest is supported and instead of being smothered by those massive milkers you’re simply overwhelmed by their looming presence as she reassures, “don’t mind her, kid. i’m vanilla. v, for a cute girlie like you.” No whoopie cushions are involved in this introduction whatsoever because that isn’t romantic. Instead, your extra-sensory perception tells you that she is, indeed, a prankster and a massive dork.

The last to speak up is a slim skeleton who’s leaning against the wall. She sounds like she’s smoked every single cigarette in the world (in a sexy way). She straightens from her slouch and informs you, “i’m sky. short for skyscraper.” Hm, she is pretty tall. Maybe its her miniskirt but those legs go on for _days_. Her breasts are small and perky. She definitely notices your appreciative staring and winks.

“your turn, dollface.” Ruby pipes up. “what name am i gonna be screamin’ tonight?”

Wow, good question. What _is_ your name? You have a vague recollection of…“Yurnaime.”

Her expression twists into exaggerated confusion. “‘your name’? yer sayin’ i’ll scream my own name?”

“maybe she knows more than she lets on,” V chuckles, shrugging.

Ruby huffs and blushes. Before they can have more sinful sanscest banter you explain, “No, my name _is_ Yurnaime. Is that weird?”

Sapphire and Maple rush over to soothe you, the both of them scooping you up and squeezing you between them. They cry, “Not At All!” and “I Love It!” as Ebony cackles, nineties cartoon villain style, “That Sounds _Stupid_!”

Sky interjects, “i think it’s sweet. we could shorten it. ‘yuri’ is less of a mouthful, yeah?”

You convey your gratitude to her as best as you can while sandwiched between skeletons, the taller nuzzling your neck, the shorter shoving her skull into your stomach so your breasts brush against the top of her skull. They sure are affectionate. “Yuri. I like it. Thanks, Sky.”

V stands from the bed you’d recovered in, putting her hands in her pockets. Do nuns normally have pockets? They must. Where else would they put their…nun stuff. “alright, that’s settled. now where’s she sleeping tonight?”

The others immediately answer, “With me!”

Silence. Boss music starts up. Each pleads their case to the amused judge.

“You Weaklings Won’t Watch Over Her Properly! I Must Keep My Enemies Close At All Times!” Ebony, obviously.

“I Want To Show Her My Racecar Bed! Anyone Who Sleeps In It Will Surely Race Towards Their Dreams!” Maple makes a solid point.

“B-But…My Bed Has A Really Cool Canopy, It Keeps Nightmares From Getting In!” Sapphire stammers but stays strong, for your sake.

“my bed’s nothing special. the sex though, that’d be pretty great, i promise.” Sky’s suggestion has Sapphy scolding her sister for being shameless so soon after you’ve woken up.

“don’t make promises you can’t keep, washboard.” Ruby taunts. “seems to me yuri’d be better off wit’ a cunning linguist like myself.” Her scarlet tongue wriggles between two phalanges. It’s hot but you’d have serious doubts about those sharp teeth getting near your lady bits. Especially with that sadistic grin of hers.

Vanilla smiles serenely at her sister’s explanations. She hums and quirks her head at you, “well, who do you pick?”

“Can’t I just stay in the bed I woke up in?”

A blue bead of sweat appears on her skull. “uh…what bed?” You turn to the bedframe that had just been there. It’s not. Completely disappeared. Huh. Guess your short-term memory is fucked, too. You must have imagined it. “gonna have to stay with one of us, pal.”

You scan the excited faces of Maple and Sapphire, the tsundere glaring-at-the-ground-so-you-can’t-tell-i’m-interested thing Ebony’s got going on, Ruby’s impatient foot-tapping, and Sky’s sly bedroom eyes. How are you supposed to choose?

“I want to sleep with all of you,” you declare. A rainbow of blushes. It’s like pride month up in this bitch.

“R-really, Yuri-senpai?” Sapphire seems pleased, hands interlocked in front of her so that her arms press her tits into an even more ridiculous size.

“all of us at once? ooo, kinky~” Ruby sings.

“Humans Are So Selfish!” Ebony accuses with a frown. Your ESP tells you that she’s happy too, though.

Sky is slightly less satisfied, countenance equivalent to: (눈_눈) “i don’t like group projects. i’d do a better job by myself,” she grumbles.

Maple beams, a literal halo of light encircling her head as she squeaks, “Sleep With All Of Us, Like A Slumber Party!? What An Incredible Idea!”

“you’re right, sis. let’s get set up in the theater room.” The others are dismissed to gather snacks and blankets while V gets you some pajamas. It’s a silky night gown, the sensual kind that a woman wears in a horror movie to investigate that suspicious noise so the that the inevitable murder is sexualized for some reason. It’s comfy. Very slippery and slidey. If someone pushed you across a freshly waxed floor you’d probably shwoosh around at the speed of light.

You get a chance to explore more of the convent as Vanilla leads you to the theater room. This place is swanky. You didn’t know nuns could have so much stuff. Or an indoor pool. Or a theater room, even. It doesn’t bother you because as soon as you arrive you’ve got something bigger to be bothered about.

The skeletons are all in slutty pjs. Seriously more like lingerie, at this point. Ruby has so many straps and zippers on her black leather two piece that you suspect she doesn’t actually do much sleeping in that. Sapphire’s in shorty shorts and a thin tank top. Vanilla seems to have dressed the most conservatively and even in an oversized sweater there’s no hiding that hourglass figure.

You chuckle. You’re in danger.

**Author's Note:**

> Raise your hand if instead of substituting your name in for "Y/N" your head reads it as its own thing. Unfortunately I cannot see whether your hand is raised so you will have to let me know in the comments 'cause I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one, lol. 
> 
> If you are pure, innocent, and have never experienced the wonders of anime culture then I'll be the one to break the news that Reader's nickname 'Yuri' is slang for the femslash genre of manga. Does that count as a pun? ...I'm counting it.
> 
> Nickname cheat sheet:  
> Undertale Sans--Vanilla  
> Undertale Papyrus--Maple
> 
> Underfell Sans--Ruby  
> Underfell Papyrus--Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way
> 
> Underswap Sans--Sapphire  
> Underswap Papyrus--Skyscraper


End file.
